Wednesday, 13 April 2011

My objection to the demolition of the Welsh streets

Planning ref 11PM/0603.

Dear Decision-Makers,

One of my most vivid and earliest childhood memories was the car journey back 'home' to Liverpool. As I pressed my nose to the window, street after street of red brick houses flashed past in the rain. 

The very next year the same journey took us through a vast eerie landscape of broken bricks, criss-crossed with the faint grey of former streets.

To me it was an astonishing picture of destruction - literally a wasteland. Who had done this to a busy community? And where had all the people gone?

But who were we to complain about other people - slum dwellers - getting decent housing? My extended family lived in pleasant leafy streets around  Muirhead Avenue, where three bedrooms, a bathroom and a garden back and front was the standard pattern. My own parents had taken the route south to a detached home in the garden county of Kent.

There was still a sense of loss. The adults made the same wry comment as people in towns and cities all over England: 'The planners have done more damage than the Luftwaffe ever did'.

The 1960s was the age of the white heat of technology, when we were promised jet-packs and cities in the sky. It turned out there were no jet-packs and the cities in the sky were cold and lonely.  But once the low rise homes were gone, they were gone. There was no going back. Should the same happen to the Welsh streets?

I don't know how many of the Scottie Road houses could have been repaired. But I am certain that with modern technology the Welsh streets could become comfortable, sustainable, desirable low-rise homes for local people of all ages. One thing my parents' generation learned in the war was not to waste anything. And what could be more wasteful than flattening hundreds of houses that could be repaired and renewed?

No-one would now dream of suggesting a 60s style estate of tower blocks, so why persist with the other half of that toxic equation - the wholesale destruction of viable low-rise housing stock in the face of a nationwide housing shortage?

I was astounded to discover that there is no design proposal to develop the site even this was the whole point of demolishing the homes in the first place. So the best outcome that can be hoped for is a sterile grassed expanse and the worst a kind of no-man's land similar to that which persisted for years in the Scottie Road area, with serious implications for the safety and security of those living nearby.

The structural condition of the five sets of houses  to be left standing is unknown so the proposed treatment of the gable ends may not prevent their collapse when the surrounding terrace is destroyed. Exposed interior walls may need emergency underpinning - at great cost. To proceed under these circumstances seems reckless.

Demolition would also unfairly prejudice the future of the neighbouring Kelvin Grove Houses.


With serious efforts underway to find viable alternatives to demolition there seems no reason not to wait for financial and design proposals from those who can offer a sustainable future for these houses. To proceed at this point would have no value other than for those whose bureaucratic and political status is supported by not reversing a contentious decision.

I have two further reasons for supporting the retention of the Welsh streets. Firstly, my researches have shown me that my forebears lived in similar houses, moving frequently around the Bootle, Toxteth and Kirkdale areas. There are thousands if not millions of people with a similar heritage. LCC would do well not to ignore the economic benefit of restoring and retaining streets that attract so many visitors. They may not appear in tourist board statistics but they are there. I too have made the journey from Scotland to see the home my great-grandmother lived in. Our built heritage is not just about cathedrals and stately homes.

Secondly, I have detailed knowledge what is involved in making old houses habitable. The cost for giving a repair contract to a major builder is one thing. If individuals were given the right support - perhaps through a housing co-operative - these homes could be revived at a far lower cost.

I believe the WSHG has made a cast-iron case for delaying the demolition whilst alternatives are explored. I sincerely hope that LCC will align itself with their forward-looking cause and rather than the bulldozers of the past.

Yours faithfully etc

Sunday, 13 March 2011

Marketing for girls

Somewhere there is a picture of my youngest child, slumped asleep in his buggy with a nappy at bursting point. We were on holiday, he fell asleep and we selfishly continued to consume food and wine until adult bedtime. I used to feel guilty every time I saw that photo. Now I don’t. It was only wee, he didn’t get nappy rash and his parents and older brother enjoyed a bit of non-toddler quality time.
But it was of course against my instincts as a mother (for instincts read ‘social conditioning’).
All over the country, every day of the year, women return from work or something self-indulgent like the weekly shop, to find their male partners watching telly and the kids covered in chocolate, wearing each other’s clothes and with nappies stretching Pampers technology to its limits. (Do they still look like giant rice puddings?)
The partner will suggest that the kids are in fact, perfectly OK. The mother will express her view that chocolate biscuits are only for after tea and now all their teeth will rot.
And that’s why women are so good at marketing. Have a look at this interview in today’s Observer (brought to my attention by @MichaelNewbury). Sofie Gråbøl describes her portrayal of Sarah Lund in The Killing. To make Lund work Gråbøl had to act like a man - to suspend the feminine impulse to run round ‘making sure everyone has enough salad’, or indeed a perfectly hygienic bathroom and a dry nappy.
I’m not suggesting for one moment that women in marketing should put themselves in second place or (pass the sickbag) use their ‘feminine wiles’. Like Gråbøl, I don’t want to generalise about men or women. But the ability to empathise - to see things from other people’s point of view - comes in pretty handy when you’re trying to sell stuff.

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

How not to sell French enamel house signs


Date: 9 September 2010 17:24:14 BDT
Hi Roy,
As requested, this is to confirm we would like to proceed with our order for a custom sign as per the revised artwork. Cost of £55 paid by debit card this afternoon. To be dispatched to: [withheld]



Sent: Monday, November 01, 2010 6:47 PM
Hi Roy
As per my phone call just now we have not received our sign. Please
advise on delivery.

Judy


On 1 Nov 2010, at 19:16, Roy wrote:
France is in a total meltdown at the moment, national strikes, gorilla strikes and when back at work, no work is being done.
I have spent 2 weeks in France at the factory trying and threatening and pleading for my work to be finalised.
Hopefully a delivery will be with me very soon and I can then post every ones order to them.
Regards.
Roy


Sent: Tuesday, November 30, 2010 7:23 PM
Very disappointed to see that nearly a month has gone by with no further communication from you.

If you are not able to deliver the sign for which I paid nearly three months ago, please say so and return my money.

Judy


On 5 Dec 2010, at 13:11, Roy wrote:
?Hello.
The French have been having lots of strikes and also France & the  UK is now having the worst winter for 20 years.
My order is stuck in France at the moment but should be with us  later this week.
We will then post everyone's order out to them.
All this of course is beyond my control.
Roy


Sent: Sunday, December 05, 2010 2:03 PM
I'm afraid all this sounds like excuses rather than reasons and the
complete absence of any apology or any communication unless chased is
both annoying and worrying. From where I'm standing it seems likely
the factory is refusing to release the goods for non-payment.

I hope that is not the case but if I don't hear something more
concrete within 24 hrs I will start formal procedures for the return
of my money and also report you to your local authority.

Judy


On 5 Dec 2010, at 14:50, Roy wrote:
Hello Judy,

I think it's best if we refund your money.

I realize you will probably find this hard to believe - but I would have liked to have delivered your plaque to you months ago. It is of no benefit to me to have irritable customers. I'd rather not have people sending irate e-mails to me. All I have been able to tell you is what the factory tells me.

We have been told that the plaques have been shipped, but I don't know when they will arrive. I wish I did. You don't need me to tell you, that the weather is bad here and in France - but then, there is no point in explaining anything else to you - you don't want to know.

You do not need to do anything else, e-mail or phone me. You will get your money back.

Roy


Sent: Sunday, December 05, 2010 3:42 PM
Poor Roy. None of it is his fault, it's the factory, it's the French,
it's the weather. It is, rather amusingly, gorillas. And when all
else fails it's the fault of the customer.

You might have fewer 'irritable' (sic) customers if you kept them
informed, and apologised for the inconvenience you have caused them.
And you would have greater credibility if you stopped changing the
story.

Please ensure the money is returned to my account on Monday.

Judy


On 5 Dec 2010, at 16:14, Roy Foulger wrote:
Are you drunk? Or don't you understand English?
Please do not e-mail me again.



On 5 Dec 2010, at 17:00, Judy Olsen wrote:
Customer service isn't your strong point is it Roy?



J


Friday, 13 August 2010

Free copywriting - but check the conditions

I've often said I'd rather work for nothing than for cheap, and like everyone else in this business I have on occasion given my services for free to a good cause.
Now though, I'm offering to do this for one person or organisation on Twitter. 
What you get is a full half day of my time, which is enough for a campaign letter, a couple of pages of a website, an email or two, a modest flyer, a bit of editing or an ad to go in your local paper. I charge serious professional rates, so this is worth something. Here are the conditions:

1) You're not in it for the money either. You might be a small disability rights group, a campaigning organisation or an animal rescue - that kind of thing.You don't have to be a registered charity but you do have to have a Twitter account.
2) Your budget really is zero. If you have the money to pay a copywriter, please pay a copywriter. We're worth it. 
3) The offer is limited to four hours of my time. Please don't ask me to write an entire website or your annual report.
4) Think of me as a consultant and my work as advice. Don't ask for a re-write if I begin a sentence with 'and'.

That's basically it. You can find out more about me at www.judyolsen.co.uk or follow me on Twitter (@judycopywriter) and requests should be sent to topcopy[at]mac[dot]com. These don't need to be detailed or complicated - just say who you are, what it is you'd like me to write, and whether or not you already have a draft.

Update: There may be a problem with emails triggering Apple's spam filters. So if you send me an email request, please also send me a tweet so I know it's on its way. 

The deadline for requests is being extended so please feel free to apply.

Turning base metal into...more base metal

A recent radio discussion on what to do with all those spare coppers (money, not lazy bizzies) attracted some amazing texts. Apparently, Britain, you simply chuck your surplus pennies in the bin. That's right, there are people who throw away money. Isn't this the ultimate in conspicuous consumption? 'Oh we have all this money, but it doesn't quite suit us so we're going to throw it away.'
It's not hard to imagine. The perfect house. The smudge-free glass doors leading to the sterile garden. The bowl of grubby coinage that poor people may have touched. Nope, just not part of the dream.
True, these are not people who go to the pub, to have crisp notes downgraded into a trouser-full of change. But they don't use public transport and the Daily Mail is delivered, so their opportunities to offload metal money are limited.
Presumably they're also too thick to understand that this is still money, just in its second least appealing form*.
But for the rest of us, help comes from an unexpected quarter. Lord Sainsbury and his ilk have provided us with special machines so we can convert handfuls of smash into acceptable drinking tokens. And here's how.
In the interests of cutting the nation's few remaining jobs, major supermarkets have introduced self-service tills in their smaller outlets. These tills take cash. You can also part-pay in cash and then switch to a card. For small amounts of change, this is the preferred method.
But let's say you want to buy something costing £5, and have accumulated £10 in change. If you have the nerve (and I do) you can feed your £5 into the machine in any combination of coins you happen to have. Then press 'Cancel Payment'. Do you get your rubbish money back in an embarrassing heap of coins that spills on to the floor? You do not. You get proper money, including notes. You can then feed another £5 of change into the machine to complete your purchase.
Unfortunately you are also doing the supermarkets a favour, by giving them loads of change, and saving them the cost of buying it from the bank. But I think we can live with that.


* Rupert Murdoch or George Osborne, your choice.

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

The old man and the tree

Behind this street there's a smaller street that runs at 90 degrees. So our kitchen looks out over their long back gardens.
In the third garden along there's a rather fine tree. But the man who lives there hates it. The first sign of spring round here is when he gets out his ladder and hacksaw. And today is the day.
Each year he climbs into the tree and prunes it hard. His wife watches from a faded plastic chair. Then he takes the branches into the lane and burns them. Each year the man's hair gets a little more grey and the bonfire in the lane gets a little bigger.
I imagine their conversation.
'It's the wrong time of year, you know. You should prune this tree in the summer.'
'I know what I'm doing.'
'You're pruning too hard. You're making it grow bigger. Look at all the shoots from last time.'
'I know what I'm doing.'
He's looking thin and bent. This may be the last year he climbs the tree.

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

Everyone forgets...why they were sh*t-scared

With one of the kids doing a school project on JFK, we asked my partner's dad for his 'where were you when' memory.
It turns out he was on duty as an air traffic controller, in the tower at Prestwick Airport. Someone heard a BBC news bulletin on the radio in the airport lounge, and John used the emergency phone to call the USAF on the other side of the airfield and see if they knew anything. (They didn't).
With the Cuban missile crisis fresh in their minds, they all thought that the Russians had shot Kennedy, and that nuclear war was imminent. John's wife Shirley - alone in the house with four very young children - was terrified.
So for some people at least, the power of that iconic moment was less about the Zapruder film, and more about thinking you're about to die.